AP (Portland, OR) - Authorities were summoned to the site of a bridge last week, when a series of panic-stricken motorists dialed '911' to report a suspicious person underneath a bridge in Tualatin, Oregon. The perpetrator was dressed in a red and black raincoat, safety vest, hard hat and headlamp. (Note the pathetic use of duct tape to hold the headlamp in place). During an interview, one caller said, "Ain't no way that guy is an engineer, I mean look at him! I seen that feller on the Fremont Bridge a couple months ago and I called the cops then too. I hope they get him!"
Upon arrival, the officer prepared himself for the worst. When the officer walked up, the perpetrator was just returning from taking care of some 'business' in the bushes. The officer informed the perpetrator that several calls from concerned citizens had been received indicating that a suspicious character was beneath the bridge. The perpetrator was heard to mumble to himself, "What is wrong with me?? Why am I suspicious looking?? I mean, I'm generally a good person.....sure, I play video games and fantasy football...yeah, I hate yardwork and I don't rub my wife's feet as much as she would like, but c'mon!" At once confused, perplexed, flabbergasted, a sudden change came over the perpetrator when the officer said five simple words which forever changed the perpetrator's life. Five simple words which illuminated and explained everything, possibly even the very meaning of life..."It is what it is."
One concerned eye witness asked the officer, "Is he dangerous??" The officer sneared and said, "Are you kidding?? Look at him, he's a wuss. I can take him."
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5 comments:
It was only a matter of time before the law caught up with you.
He definitely looks suspicious... we'll be on the lookout for this potential threat to our bridges.
:o)
Hilarious!
Oh no...he looks a lot like a guy who visits us and even spends the weekend. OH NO- we have even let him help fix the roof.....we should probably have that inspected soon before the whole place caves in on us.
I think that he is the guy who makes the coffee at church on Sunday mornings.....wonder what he is adding to it?
Hilarious! I knew that guy was up to no good! I've learned my lesson, from now on - anytime that I see any "Workers" on the side of the road - that may "seem" to be innocent enough, man I'm picking up the phone and dialing 911. Can't be too careful nowadays - cones, and signs, and safety equipment - shoot anyone can get those things and pretend to work on a bridge...
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